Vomit and a Clogged Toilet – A Christmas Reflection

Christmas 2015-1

I always fall victim to Christmas naïveté. Let’s call it nativity naïveté. It must be the cheer, the merriment, the lofty spirits, or the gaze of the baby Jesus looking up at me from our wooden crèche. Wherever the origin may be, a pleasent mood floods my soul on the days leading up to Christmas only to have my glee shattered by the time the lights are turned off, boxed up, and placed back in the attic for their year-long slumber. This year was no different. In fact, my joy was obliterated by 6:30am on Christmas morning.

I came out of a deep sleep to the most horrid clicking sound. Gggccccllliicckkkkk! Gggccccllliicckkkkk! Gggccccllliicckkkkk! It’s a sound all too familiar to those of us who own cats. It’s the sound of a cat preparing to vomit. My wife woke up at the same moment, cried out, and pushed the cat off of her. Moments later the cat vomitted down the side of the bed and all over the floor!

Joy fleeing! “No come back!” I cried out to it.

As my wife cleaned up the mess I tried desperately to find my fleeting glee. As I searched, a new sound flooded my ears. Ggglllllluuuuugggsshhh! Ggglllllluuuuugggsshhh! Ggglllllluuuuugggsshhh! “What the hell is that noise,” I asked my wife as see finished cleaning our soiled carpet. “I have no idea,” she said. “It sounds like my mother is doing something in the bathroom.” My wife walked to the guest bathroom and asked my mother-in-law what was happening. “I flooded the toilet,” she answered.

My head crashed to my pillow. My joy slipped away into the darkness of the early morning hours.

My Christmas spirit was defeated. I thought to myself, “Is 6:45am too early to drink? Booze? Probably too early. Coffee? Sounds good. Maybe it will bring a little merriment back to the day?”

The coffee helped. Joy showed its face.

A few drinks with a fellow bourbon enthusiast and new friend helped even more. Joy slowly walked back.

Four new bottles of bourbon finished the task. Joy had returned.

While my nativity naïveté got the best of me (again), and vomit and a flooded toilet shattered my mood, some good drinks and good friends rescued my holiday. All-in-all, a pretty good Christmas.


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